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Do not be disappointed if she doesn't make a gourmet meal for you every day. Sometimes microwave popcorn is better than a tired woman in a hot kitchen.
You can make dinner just as well as she can. Cooking is not an exclusively feminine ability.
Call if you are going to be late. Call if plans change. If plans change or you are late, apologize.
Do not bring home unannounced dinner guests. Call first. If she says "no," then it's no. Be considerate.
If you are expanding the number of guests at dinner, bring more food with you.
If you really want a last-minute dinner guest, pick something up to go, wine enough for all, and flowers for her.
We must also beware we do not eat so greedily that we get the hiccup, or belch: as some feed so fast, that they annoy the company with it: they blow and puff so loud. Likewise, you must not rub your teeth with your napkin, and much less with your fingers. for these are tricks of a sloven. Neither must you openly rinse your mouth with the wine, and then spit it forth. Neither is it gentleman like to carry a stick in your mouth from the table, when you rise, like the bird that builds her a nest: or put it in your ear, for that is a barbarous trick. It is a rude fashion besides, to lean over the table, or to fill your mouth so full of meat, that your cheeks be blown up with all.
-- Il Galateo
Mind your table manners: do not make noises while eating. Do not hiccup or belch. Do not gobble your food. Take your time and show that you both appreciate the food and the company.
It is not good for a man to chide at the table for any cause. And if you are angry, show it not, nor make no sign of your grief, especially if you have strangers with you: because you have called them to be merry, and this will make them sad. For, as when you see a man eats a sour thing, it sets your teeth likewise on edge, so to see other men vexed and out of quiet makes us unquiet too.
-- Il Galateo
The dinner table is not a place for quarrels or distasteful subjects. Avoid the three forbidden topics: politics, religion and sex.
Do not be precisely on time. Allow your hostess five minutes' grace.
Bring flowers and wine if invited to dinner at a couple's house.
Bring wine if invited to dinner at a man's house.
Do not pay unusual attention to other women at a dinner party.
Do not neglect your lover, even if she's seated away from you.
If she tells you that she's tired and wants to go, do not make her say it twice.
If you sense that she's tired, uncomfortable or irritated, ask her if she'd like to go. If she says no, ask again from time to time. If she says yes, go as soon as you politely can.
If you are out with her friends, do not act tired, irritated or uncomfortable. Do not suggest that it's time to leave.
If you attend a formal dinner party, send a bread and butter note the next day.
Do not drink to excess.
If you become mean, morose or foolish when you drink, don't.
If you plan on getting drunk, do it in private or with other men. Dinner parties are not the place for it.
Do not address problems within the relationship via Johnny Walker.
Probably it is a good idea not to use drugs at all, but suit yourself. In any event, do not use drugs to excess. You are probably either an "upper" type or a "downer" type. Upper types favor caffeine, cocaine, crack, Benzedrine, methamphetamines and the like. Downer types like alcohol, opiates and barbiturates. Hallucinogens are a separate class: lsd tends to be more of an upper than marijuana, and mescaline is something of an upper, but really these do not conform to the class of "up" or "down." Sort of to the side.
You can generally mess more safely with the kinds you don't like than with the kinds you do like. Be respectful of even the milder ones. Things can get out of hand fast. Stay entirely away from the bad ones: crack cocaine, heroin, pcp. They will destroy you, and they will destroy the people around you.
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