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Don't try to tell her what to wear, how to cut her hair, or what makeup or jewelry to wear. If your opinion is asked, try and discover what she wants to hear before answering. Praise the things that you like, but be careful, by that means, not to criticize something else. If she really dresses in a way that you don't like, too bad.
Women dress for other women, not for men. Men are not competent fashion critics. If you don't like a particular fashion, wait a minute.
If men had their way, women would dress like tarts. Though women occasionally want to dress like tarts, they only do it when they want to.
Women dress differently for different occasions. They know what the occasions are and you don't. Don't make any suggestions. If she asks, "Do you think this is okay?" Find out what she wants to hear, be encouraging, say "Yes," but don't be surprised if she changes everything.
If you had to put on makeup you'd take a long time, too. Read the paper while you're waiting; improve your mind with literature. Do not tap your foot.
Women tend to get dressed five or six times before they're satisfied. Be patient. Allow extra time. Learn a foreign language--you'd be surprised at how much progress you'll make if you study between the times you're all dressed and she's not ready yet.
Women like to experiment. Hair color, makeup, accessories and clothing can be somewhat eccentric from time to time. Be supportive.
If she does something radical with her hair, take it as a warning sign. When women change their hair, it's something else they want to change.
Women are obsessed with their faces and bodies.
If she asks you if you think she's too fat, the answer is "no." Just say "no."
Do not imply that she would be improved by breast implants, tummy tucks, facelifts, liposuction, collagen injections, hair dye, or cosmetic surgery of any kind. If she wants to do it, she'll do it unless you violently object. It's her body.
If you think that she might benefit by exercise, lead the way. If she sees you becoming svelte and trim, she may feel the urge herself.
If she embarks on a diet, do not sabotage her efforts by giving her candy, preparing lavish, high calorie meals or buying snack food and ice cream. You probably need to lose a little weight yourself. Help her. Notice that she is thinner and more beautiful, but don't lay it on too thick. She may gain it all back and feel bad. If this happens, say nothing.
Gifts perform more than one task. When you give her a gift, she knows that you value her. Also, other people will know that you value her. Little gifts are fine, but a big, expensive one once in a while is imperative.
Do not give her practical gifts, self-help gifts or gifts that you want yourself.
Do not get anyone else to do your gift-buying for you.
If she rejects or does not use a gift, try and discover the real problem.
If she gives you a gift, use it and indicate clearly how much pleasure it gives you. If she gives you an item of jewelry or apparel, wear it. If your feelings are to the contrary, keep your mouth shut and your mind on the relationship.
Women's bodies are totally different from men's. Things go on that have no masculine counterpart, and that you cannot understand. Accept it.
If her behavior seems irrational, do not write it off as PMS. It's more likely that you don't understand what's wrong. Start asking questions, but be careful. She may not be able to tell you because she may not know herself.
Though PMS is real enough, it's suicide to mention it. Never attribute irritable behavior to hormonal activity.
If you had to go through menopause, you'd be crabby, too. Be patient. Develop a consuming, inexpensive hobby for about five years. Don't worry, she'll be back.
. . . I consider that a lover can retain his lady's favor by the same means he employs to win it; and what is essential is to please the woman he loves and avoid offending her. So it would be difficult to lay down any hard-and-fast rule; for there are endless ways in which a man who lacks a fine sense of discretion can make mistakes which seem trivial but which nevertheless give grave offense.
-- The Courtier, Book Three
Keep yourself in good physical condition.
Don't be a slob.
And when you have blown your nose, do not then open your handkerchief, to gaze upon your snot, as if pearls and rubies had fallen from your brain: for this is slovenly behavior, enough to cause men, not so much not to love us, as if they did love us, to unlove us again.
-- Il Galateo
Mind your manners. Manners are as the outside of a house: this is the side that you turn to the world, and by which you are judged. Observe the outward forms and you will be forgiven many things; but if you are lax in manners and courtesy, your smallest fault will be found enough to condemn you.
Do not become lax over time. Never stop trying to win her affection. Manners are the lubricant which prevents society from grinding itself to pieces. Manners show that you can control yourself. Those in society who display no manners, or bad manners, declare themselves thereby outlaw, outcast, more like wild animals than men. Take care to be polite, or it will be the worse for you.
Treat her like a new lover. Write her love notes. Buy her little presents. Give her flowers.
Treat her like a lady. Women want affection, respect and consideration. Open doors. Hold her chair. Wait until she is seated before you seat yourself. Rise to greet her. Take her out to dinner frequently. Say it with flowers.
Tell her often and sincerely how beautiful, sexually exciting and alluring she is. Tell her why she's beautiful. And never say it in the same way twice. Talk in specifics. "I love the sparkle in your eyes when you see me." "I love the texture of your breasts." "I love the color of your skin against the sheets" "I love to see the sunlight in your hair," etc. Remember Cyrano. No all-purpose, all-occasion complements that sound canned.
Women crave romance. If your idea of romance is unformed, buy a book on it. You might start with Ovid.
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