Contradictions

September 6, 1994

Talking with my workout partner while we were benching, and somehow the conversation turned to the odd juxtaposition of people's behavior. He mentioned that one of the most anal, compulsive, tidy legal writers he knew was a trial lawyer who's office looked like a cyclone struck it. As he was talking, I realized that this describes me, as well.

With some broad caveats, I'm an anarchist. I want society to be as untidy as possible. I love diversity and the chance that people might make mistakes. I think that social order equals social repression, and that most laws should be stricken from the books. Most bureaucrats should be put on the street, most politicians and lawmakers should be drummed out of office, and most lawyers should be put to other work.

But in my personal life, I crave order. I like things neat and tidy; I know where everything is and nothing upsets me more than when I look for something and can't find it. I carefully file and keep track of everything. Sometimes I seriously consider becoming a military officer or policeman. I am drawn to what I despise.

3/17/99

Contradictions